View all Ask a Priest. A: Thanks for your note. It is good to hear that you are trying to live a chaste life. Your example of chaste living can be a powerful way to give glory to God through your body, which is a temple of the Holy Spirit, and to give witness to others around you. And it is praiseworthy that you are already thinking in terms of possible marriage as you approach dating. That will help give a serious dimension to your relationships. It would be wonderful if you met someone who preserved his virginity and who intends to give it as a gift only upon entering marriage.
Reasons for a virgin to date/marry a non-virgin
For virgins, particularly those who intend to stay that way till marriage, the worries include all of these and more, thereby making dating and relationships in this age seem just a little more difficult for this group of woman. The major concern is usually how to get one who shares the same no-sex value like them. Virgin and celibate women often hope to meet men whose stance on sex is one of genuine abstinence. Abstinence that comes as a result of personal decision and conviction as opposed to one which is activated just because you say you do not want to have sex till you are married.
While affection alongside a strong decision to be with you at all costs could make this goal possible for such man, it is usually more difficult for sexually-active men to date celibate women without hitches. Many times, pressure for sex eventually creeps into the mix and things usually just go downhill from there.
I’m seeing this guy and our first date was fantastic. However, I found out very quickly that he is nowhere near me in terms of experience — he is still a virgin. You and your boyfriend are not a perfect sexual match, but you.
I am totally crushing on a new guy who is super-sweet and smart. But, color me surprised when he told me he was a virgin. Yes, a real virgin, and not the one where guys lie and say they are just to get you in bed. For a college woman, this can mean bye-bye great sex and hello Adam and Eve Online. But with virginity in men becoming more common on college campuses, it seems like guys are really holding out for the right girl. Does this mean that your dating strategy has to change?
The answer is a little bit of yes and no.
Ask a Guy: “I’m a Virgin But My Boyfriend Isn’t—How Should I Feel?”
Sometimes it might seem like everyone in school is talking about who’s a virgin, who isn’t, and who might be. For both girls and guys, the pressure sometimes can be intense. But deciding whether it’s right for you to have sex is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever have to make. Each person must use his or her own judgment and decide if it’s the right time — and the right person.
This means considering some very important factors — both physical ones, like the possibility of becoming pregnant or getting a sexually transmitted disease STD — and emotional factors, too.
After I heard the news, I needed time to process it. I needed time to pray. After a lot of prayer and discussion, I came to the conclusion that I was willing and able to move forward in the relationship. I realized that Christ had forgiven me of so much. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you Eph. Growing up, I imagined I would marry someone who had a similar past to my own.
As an adult, I now realize that may not happen. While sin certainly has an impact, we decided this sin would not be an insurmountable obstacle if we decided to marry. If you can gain a biblical perspective on this issue, I think you will have much more clarity when you enter a relationship in the future. I love the basic and simple advice this article has to offer:.
My boyfriend is not a virgin. What should I do?
We came to marriage with two very different sexual pasts. We chose to save our first kiss for marriage to set a bold boundary against physical temptation. But beyond the standards we set to honor God with our sexuality, we had to ask a scary question: With such different sexual backgrounds, should we get married at all? Whatever the case, this discussion is worth having because the sexual perspective we bring to marriage can either strengthen or destroy that precious relationship.
What to do When He/or She Isn’t a Virgin sexual purity: You’ve saved yourself for marriage, but you find yourself dating someone who did not.
Wisdo is an emotional wellness app. Sign in to connect to peers and coaches who will urge you on! My current bf is not a virgin. He lost his virginity at a party while drunk when he was 18 we are both I was upset that he lied. I am a Virgin and I am incredibly jealous that some random girl got his virginity but he has the chance to take mine. I know I seem like a bitch but I am jealous. I did tell him I was considering leaving him to be with a virgin guy.
Am I being too harsh? Love Helpful Been There Reply. I think you are..
What to do When He/or She Isn’t a Virgin
I’m a virgin, but my boyfriend’s not and it really bothers me. I just want other opinions and views on it. Personally, I want to wait until marriage, and my boyfriend doesn’t pressure me, but I just don’t like the fact that he’s not a virgin. I don’t like the thought of one day giving my virginity to him when he’s done it before.
You might miss out on someone awesome and 2. You can’t go dating virgins your entire life when you’re 50 and looking for a 17, 18, 19 year.
I need some advice on how to cope with something that is causing me some sorrow. In May of , I met a Catholic man John a first cousin of one of my best friends. I had heard of him from my friend for years and had talked to him occasionally via the internet, but was never interested because he had the same girlfriend for 4 years and I assumed, was shortly to be engaged and married.
When we met, he and his girlfriend had just broken up, as things were not working out for them and she had taken a job across the country. He asked me out two weeks after our meeting. We went out every weekend and after about a month, we had completely fallen for each other. However, after a month of dating, he informed me that he was not a virgin, and had intercourse with his ex girlfriend, on a very steady basis, for 4 years. As he comes from a devout, conservative, Catholic family, as do I, I was totally shocked and crushed.
I nearly broke up with him, but a friend advised me to pray about it and to talk with him. He knew from the outset that sexual satisfaction would never be a part of our dating, nor was he seeking it.
Should A Christian Date Or Marry Someone If They Are Not A Virgin? Ask Dr. Karen!
I know how you feel, because I was a virgin on my wedding day, but my wife was not. Like the woman you mentioned, my wife had become a new creation. But it was still a painful challenge to deal with the knowledge of her past. Then, there was the let-down of having waited that long to give myself entirely to someone, and wanting her to share the experience of the wedding night as totally unique.
Sound familiar? One reason why these thoughts keep coming to mind for you is probably because you are trying to push them out of your mind without dealing with them.
This isn’t something you have to share with someone unless you are seriously considering having sex with them soon,” licensed clinical.
It is very rare. Third, a month and a half is not long in a relationship. The truth will come out eventually as the relationship goes on. You know the truth because you know the truth. What he knows is you… for a month and a half. So while the virginity thing might not matter to him, being able to trust you in general does. The best way to handle this is just to leave the virginity issue alone and be trustworthy. Personally, I could care less if a girl was a virgin or not.
There are a small minority of men who are psychotic about the whole virginity thing, but they are actually pretty rare. And they are crazy… they are not people I would want to be around, typically.